stepping into a new journey //

vest: gifted |  top: anthropologie | tights: free people | boots: gifted/Hinge | skirt & clutch: j crew

20 weeks Pregnant*

I dont mind the winter as long as there's a little sunshine peeking through in the deep gray cold skies.

That crispy winter foggy air cleans my lungs as I take each breath. It feels refreshing! I enjoy going on walks around Portland around my neighborhood or in these photos at my parents house. They live on a 5 acre country side with beautiful greenery and apple orchards. Its always a pleasure to visit.

I like to mix patterns with floral, and when I received these adorable boots from my best friend on my birthday I couldn't wait to find an outfit to pair them with.

I'm in my second trimester and feeling A LOT better.

With both of my previous pregnancies I was very very VERY sick the first three months and sadly I had to bare all that pain again with this pregnancy.. The constant 24/7 nausea, endless runs to the toilet not just the peeing but actual vomiting, pulling on the side of the road just to throw up. Shoving all kinds of crackers just to keep something down my stomach, mineral water never leaving my sight..emotions running wild..the list goes on.. Through it all I'm so glad it all simmered and slowly faded.. I'm not saying I feel 100% perfect.. Oh no..don't let me get started on the other physical pains I endure during pregnancy.. (varicose veins, headaches, side pains, lack of sleep..etc.)

All the more, I'm trying to keep it together, staying strong, patient, taking deep breaths when needed, lying down more often, eating healthy and drinking plenty of water! Theres moments of course when I feel as If I'm going to completely loose my mind, and my wonderful patient husband reminds me..

"Babe, this is only temporary! You wont be pregnant forever." ((Sigh)) that is true, yes indeed. 

And as much as I appreciate all my friends who tell me "Girl, you should be pregnant all the time." "You were made to have a lot of kids." "You always look so amazing being pregnant" 

All that is very thoughtful and so very nice, perhaps it boosts up my self-esteem just a little bit, but truthfully I never enjoyed being pregnant to the fullest. I always seem to find something to complain about.. Something to be angry about, wether its my self-image, my attitude, my lack of this and that..

And reading other amazing inspiring woman's blogs as well as having close friends who are mothers who went through it all and I can relate and learn and know that I am not alone in this journey.

I love this quote: (proverbs 20:30)

"Sometimes is takes a painful situation to make us change our ways."

This year I have a transformed mind, I have a love for God that is so much more deeper so much more stronger words can't even describe. I have peace and joy in my heart. As I wake up every morning I feel filled up with a deep desire to be a better mother, a better wife, a better friend, a better sister. 

I thank the Lord, God Almighty, Restorer of my soul. His mercy is fresh each day, and his Grace piles so high, higher than the ending piles of daily laundry. < Something I complain and dread about.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. (Psalm 23)

In the mean time we are excited to find out the sex of the baby tomorrow! Eeeeek!

I cant wait!! And I'm going to start capturing more bump photos along this journey. 

I gotta say, I'm running out of ideas on how to dress up. I look back through my old outfits and feel bored, I wanna change it up a little but its so hard to! Thank goodness for Pinterest and the limitless fashionista bumps to feel inspired by!